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22 March 2013 @ 09:05 pm
You're Always There [Oneshot]  
Title: You're Always There [Oneshot]
Author: [info]mysteriousgal11
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: YamaJima
Genre: Angst
Summary: From Yamada's point of view, telling how Nakajima Yuto has been always there beside him. Understanding him, Loving him.

You’re Always There

Yamada’s POV

I scrunched my nose as I smell the newly cooked food being put beside me. I still got a hangover from the last night party and I don’t have any appetite to stand up or to even wake up. When I heard the plates being placed at the table where I was resting, I turned my head to the opposite side to avoid being wake up by the one who cooked it. I can feel his hands shaking me, begging me to wake up and eat some solid food. I ignored his plea and continue to sleep but suddenly he started to tickle me. Damn it, this stick! I stood up, pushed him on the floor and looked at him with anger. His eyes are still gentle, looking at me with full of love.

I don’t understand why he loves me. No one in my whole life stayed and served me like he did. He’s Nakajima Yuto, my boyfriend, he confessed to me when we’re still first year in college. I answered yes to his confession, I always did to all my boyfriends after all I don’t want to be alone. But all of my boyfriends left me after they got what they want from me, my body. But him, he’s not the same, he haven’t touched me like how others did, he respects me and I can see he loves me. I hate him, I hate how he can be gentle to a bitch like me. He always said he loves me, Love? Are you kidding me? I don’t believe in love! That’s a make up illusions of some pathetic fools.

I ignored him as he looked at me, I proceeded to our room and rest there. That night, I went out of the room, ready and dressed elegantly. He’s observing me, I focused my attention to him for a while and then I walked out of the house like he’s not there, shutting the door. I love parties, who wouldn’t be? People grinding their bodies, the loud sounds and the wave of smell of alcohols, this is life for me. I flirted to my friend’s boyfriend and that idiot responded to me. We make out in the center of the dance floor and suddenly, I was slapped on my face. Of course, I Yamada Ryosuke wouldn’t  be defeated by someone like him, I started a brawl, but all our friends are on his side and I was defeated, left behind with bruise all over me. I struggle to went home and was leave off at our house’s door. I rang the doorbell and a worried Yuto welcomed me. I laughed at his hilarious face and he just shakes his head as he carried me to our living room couch. He prepared things necessary for someone drunk like me. But the thing in my throat keeps on pushing out, as he adjusted my position, I suddenly sit up and puke on him. I puke to my stomach content and he’s just there, rubbing my back. After that, I don’t know what else happened, I can just remember him taking care of me.

I stayed at home after that, even though I want to go clubbing I can’t, so I stayed home and just get myself drunk. Yuto is always there, watching over me. He never said or complained anything about me, and somehow I feel comfortable that he’s there. But I realized after that, that he always leave me. I started doubting him, one day I when I scan his phone I saw a message from a girl. So, he will also leave me? The moment he returned from that meeting with whoever that girl is, I questioned him. I don’t care even if tiredness is evident on his face. I cursed him and said all the mean things I can just for him to tell me honestly who that girl is, but you know what he did? He just ignored me! He turned around and walked away. I continue to shout at him, telling him to get out of my life and just die. When he’s already at our door, I decided to go to the kitchen to cool myself off, but suddenly I heard a loud crashing sound. I ran to his direction and there I saw him, sprawled on the ground, unconscious. I got worried and I immediately called the hospital. On the ambulance, I’m holding his hand tightly, ignoring the doctor who’s buzzing around him. Why haven’t I noticed the pale complexion of him? He was rushed to the emergency room when we arrived to the hospital. I waited outside, tears came out of my eyes, the tears that’s a sign of what I’m feeling for him.

After an endless eternity, he was wheeled out and put in a medium size room. The doctor pulled me on a chair, his frown gives me creeps. She asked me things and I was shocked when she’s the one that Yuto’s meeting every time he went out. Then why? I asked and then that’s when she told me the truth. Colon cancer, last stage, incurable. She said Yuto just figured it last month and I remember the rapid change in the body of Yuto. He became thinner, paler and he always went to the bathroom. I asked how many years are left for Yuto and I became miserable with her answer. A month. God gave me only a month to take care of Yuto, to shower him the love that he deserve, to show him that I care for him. Is this my punishment? Is God granting my wish, please I take it back. Just don’t take Yuto from me. I love him. From now on, I want to be Yuto’s strength. I want to be beside him and I will make the last month of him be memorable to us.

When Yuto woke up, he’s frowning at me, telling me to go away and he doesn’t need my pity. I told him it’s not pity that it’s my love but still he ignored it. When the doctor asked him what he wants to do, he said he wants to go home and they released him, it’s like his dying wish for them. I decided to go out of his room and cries near the emergency exit. This is the first time I cry since I knew the sickness of Yuto, I didn’t cry when the doctor said it to me, I’m shocked that time and determined to fight with Yuto. The door was opened and I was engulfed in a tight hug. He turned me around, my face facing his chest. I buried my face on his chest, returning his hug. I don’t want him to die. I want to be with him forever. ‘I don’t want you to be sad, I always love the smiling Ryosuke’ He said to me, I can feel his voice hoarse. He cupped my chin and tilts it. He’s smiling, how can he smile in a situation like this? ‘Ryosuke can you spend the last days of my life with me? I want to see the smiling you right here beside me’ I nodded, that’s what my intention is. He gave me a kiss, a powerful, full of love kiss and I replied it with the same passion.

Since then we always spend time together, sleeping together, eating together, taking a bath together and finally I gave my body to him like he’s my first. He took care of me like I’m a delicate glass and I love it. But it’s not easy because his symptoms worsened. He began to puke blood and sometimes he just faint out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do anymore, but he just takes it calmly and he reminded me to smile. It’s been 28 days and this time he’s weak, he can’t even stand up or even eat. He holds my hand tightly and asked me if we can go to the park today. I protested, I said that he’s too weak but he said, ‘I just want to take you out in a date for the very last time.’ Tears fell from my eyes, I told him that he shouldn’t say that but again he shows me his gorgeous smile. I just nodded and prepare the things that we needed.  I help him to change and take a bath, he’s asking forgiveness because he’s too incapable of doing these things now. I shook my head, saying that I really want this. I was on my way to get the car keys but he stopped me, he wants to walk with me in this spring season, to entwine our hands together. I smiled, he’s still the romantic guy that I know.  As we walk, I can feel his tight grip in my hand, there’s an occasional cough from him but he said he’s fine. When we reached the park we spotted a nice place, under a big sakura tree and there I set up our things as he wait for me. We both sat, he hugged me and I leaned to him. We just talked about the things that we like, what we want for our future if we still have time. He gave me a passionate kiss, but after that he coughed really hard, blood oozed out from his mouth. I panicked, he’s clutching his stomach telling me that it hurts. I immediately call the ambulance, this is like how I felt when I brought him there almost a month ago. I hold on tightly on both of his hands, whispering that I love him, that he should fight, he shouldn’t leave me, that I don’t want to be alone. From his ragged breath, he formed the words ‘I love you Ryosuke’ and after that we arrived at the hospital and he was rushed to the emergency room. I watched on the small window what’s happening, there’s an oxygen mask in his face and he looks so weak. The doctors and nurses are rushing everywhere, trying to make him alive, he looked at me, I can see a smile behind the mask, and I did smile and after that, everything ended.

A month will never be enough my love…..

I’m looking at crib, adoring the face of this little angel that God gave to me. He’s so gorgeous, he got his father’s look. The baby opens his eyes and looked at my crying face, he smiled, like the way his father always did. I took him and cuddle him in my arms. From this day onwards, I won’t be alone because this is Yuto’s last gift for me. Yuusuke, the fruit of our love, I stare out at the garden and then I close my eyes, as I can feel someone hugging me.

You’re always there beside me, you never left Yuto. I love you…

A/N:  This is supposed to be a drabble but I think I got carried away and it ended up like this.  I miss YamaJima seriously, they’re one of my OTPs after all. I’m going to post Yuto’s POV next time.  J

Unbeta-ed, typed it in one go and lazy to read it XDD
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Riku: yamajimarikuxbits on March 22nd, 2013 02:23 pm (UTC)
damn. /crying while reading this at work!/ T_T



y u! I thank you for this~~!!!!! :D *hops and gone*
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 22nd, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
I'm also crying while typing this ;n; Getting to carried away :(

Me tooooo~ <3333 I love reading angstttt~

Thank you for reading and commenting~
yurikamome19: cryin Yutoyurikamome19 on March 22nd, 2013 02:30 pm (UTC)
*crying a river* T___T stupid Ryosuke, why didn't realize your love earlier... T___T
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 22nd, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
*hands tissues to you* Yes, he is stupid TT___TT

Thank you for reading and commenting~
Jumping To The Blue Skybee_ichigo on March 22nd, 2013 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm craving for yamayuto angst recently.
Regret always come later. *sobs*
will wait for yuto's pov
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 23rd, 2013 06:43 am (UTC)
Me too~ YamaJima angst is always <////3 Thank you for reading and commenting~
Arisaarisakjk19 on March 22nd, 2013 08:29 pm (UTC)
Its so full of love~!!!! but why did yuto die...?!? T____T *cries my heart out!!!
its so beautiful....!! pero namatay tlga si yuto ea... huwaaah~!!!
buti na lang anjan si yuusuke... *sniff sniff
bakit ganun... lagi na lang si yuusuke ang sumasalo pag namatay ang isa.. (or kung sino man yung magiging anak nila... heheh~)
hihintayin ko yung pov ni yuto. :p

Thank you for sharing an angst but definitely beautiful fic. ^^v
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 23rd, 2013 06:44 am (UTC)
Because I want him to die? O3O XDDD
Siyempreeeeeee~ kasi siya yung bunga ng puno LOL

Thank you for reading and commenting~
Arisaarisakjk19 on March 23rd, 2013 11:13 am (UTC)
grabeh!! andaming pwedeng mamamatay ah... XD
wag naman si yuto. kawawa kaya sa ryosuke - buti na lang anjan si yuusuke. at least, hndi tlga sya lonely. XD

loveyutoloveyuto on March 23rd, 2013 12:13 am (UTC)
i'm crying :(
But This is great fic :x
Waiting for Yuto's POV
Thanks u ^^
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 23rd, 2013 06:46 am (UTC)
*hands tissues* Don't cryyyy~ :(

Thank you for reading and commenting~
amira_mia5amira_mia5 on March 23rd, 2013 03:54 am (UTC)
This angst made me cry TT^TT
I love this omg
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 23rd, 2013 06:47 am (UTC)

Thank you for reading and commenting~
aiaichunyuu on March 23rd, 2013 04:27 am (UTC)
why did yuto have to die ;__;

at least yama-chan have yuusuke, the fruit of their love *sobs*

I close my eyes, as I can feel someone hugging me.

You're always there beside me, you never left Yuto. I love you…

beautiful~ :')

Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 23rd, 2013 06:48 am (UTC)
He needs too XDD He's sickkk~
Yes, he's not alone~

Thank you for reading and commenting~ :">
(Deleted comment)
Fhaymysteriousgal11 on March 26th, 2013 02:13 pm (UTC)
Really? Though I think angst is not my specialty LOL

Thank you for reading and commenting~